


Young god

by 0TartBagle0



Category: South Park
Genre: God i shouldn't make this, I'm a beginner if you can't already tell, I'm gonna take a long time writing this but i'll finish, Inspired by "Young god" by Halsey, M/M, but i don't don't believe in no god so... hehhehhe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:58:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13367130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0TartBagle0/pseuds/0TartBagle0
Summary: "Sitting there being pretty comes with a price, Khal."





	1. Chapter 1

It was perfect, planning, situation, and luck. It would bring so much fame and fortune with an added bonus of fake girls they could play with. At least it was supposed too... all they had to do play their cards right. He looked at the papers and board, today was "great day." Where they would finalize the last part of their plan. He sat down and sighed.  
Today is where they would release a legal drug that was not harmful in a weekly dose."Sucrosegelen" it was called. Sugar white as the name but not cocaine. It gave a type of high that was "like sex but better." 

It all started cooking class, Cartman, Stan, Kenny, and Kyle being there. Cartman being the evil piece of shit he was and sneaking some type of substance in Kyle's baking mix. After Kyle took a bite out of his pie he made. He ran around screaming.",YES," multiple times while running in circles. Only to be brought to the hospital afterward. You wouldn't call what Cartman face laugher but more a questionable stare. All he put was two-day old cheese and all of his mom's make up crushed with a blender. All he was looking for was for Kyle maybe to barf or throw up, but damn that wasn't expected. Apparently, the substance got him really high for a long time because of the quantity, leaving him in the hospital for three days, doctors didn't know what to think. When Kyle described the feeling he was speechless at first but went on and on about it. 

"Heyyyy, Khal can we talk for a moment?" Cartman shoved him aside interrupting him from one of his rants about "amazing" the high he had.

"What- why?" 

"Just come on." 

Cartman leading him to the school's bathroom and locking it.

"Why the heck are you lockin-"

"I did it." 

"Did what?" Kyle questionably glared.

"I put stuff in the pie you made- look if you want to feel it again take this." Cartman showing him a cupcake he made.

"What the hell- what the heck did you put in there??? Why-"

"Listen! I didn't think it would have the effect it did but I tested it on Butters with less lipstick in the mix- and it only lasts one hour."

Kyle then looked at the cupcake then paned to him. 

"Lipstick? Yeah, I'm not gonna fall for that one. I'm not eating that thing."

"Come on, trust me"

"Take a bite out of it then."

"Ugh, fine." Cartman then breaking one chunk and eating it.

"See? I still alive."

"Yeah, but will you run around in circles?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Fucking is a funny word, ya know cause it rhyme's with funny? " Cartman said in a daze.

"Uh-huh," Kyle rolled his eyes. When would he just give up the act?

"H-hey did I EVER tell you...-" Cartman blanked "uh I want some food." 

"Yeah, you kinda pulled me out of lunch so you could 'talk' to me."

"Let's get some foods then," Cartman said with a goofy like grin.

"I'm tired of this shit," Kyle mumbled to himself. As they entered the cafeteria 

"AHH man!! I'm really feeling fucking good right now!" Cartman screamed out. A good number of heads turned.

"Good about what?" Butters killed the silence.

"I don't know but It feels like the best thing just happened to me right now... "

"He's pretending to be high." Kyle flatly said. 

"What why?" Butters questioned.

"He said he spiked my pie I made for cooking class. Then told me that if I ate a cupcake he made, that implied it had a drug, it would only last an hour. He's trying to prove that it's the same thing I had in cooking class by pretending to eat the cupcake and get high."

"Oh-- how formal~" Cartman sneered.

"What? I'm still confused," Butters said.

"Wait what did he put in there?" Stan said.

"Yeah, what did you put in there?" Kyle turned his head to Cartman.

"I don't know, but can you please keep talking?" Cartman said eye's half-lidded.

"Uh, what?"

"Yeah-yeah just like that..." Cartman moaned out. This where Kyle finally noticed Cartman's hand down his pants. The whole table going silent. 

"I'm out," Stan left to go to the bathroom.

"Y-y-yeah count me in," Jimmy joined.

"What is he doing?" Butters leaned in to see.

"I- what the fuck Cartman?" Kyle said shocked

"Please keep talking that pretty mouth of yours- ah" Cartman studdered out.

"Eric are you okay?" Butters pipped in.

"OH! yessss," Cartman said as he finished. Wiping his fingers on his coat. Then smashing his mouth right on Kyle's lips. Which was followed by a hard punch in the stomach for Cartman. 

"THE HELL DUDE!" Kyle backed away. Now considering that he might be high.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh idk if you want to know this when i typed the name Tweek in all caps it wanted me to auto correct as "Twerk"  
> likeeee...... i was tempted.

Kenny was the first to laugh and pause the recording button. Kyle storming out of the cafeteria. Now Cartman was obsessed with torturing Kyle, even shaming himself just to get back at Kyle. It was a normal routine, but what just happened... was crossing the line by a mile. It was just weird and gay what Cartman did. Kissing him while after masturbating? No, it couldn't be true but the tingle of his lips proved otherwise. He shut the front door of his house, heading upstairs.

Everybody's heads turned to Cartman. Some shocked, some disgusted, even some laughing. 

"Hey, why are you looking at me?"

"Maybe cause your gay?" Butters head turned.

"NUH UH!"

Kenny then started to sing.

"Cartman and Kyle! Sitting in tree  
K.I.S.S.I.N.G, first comes love, second comes mar-"

"I'M NOT GAAAAAY!!!!!!!! KAHL WAS MOCKING ME. SO I HAD TO SHUT HIM UP." Cartman yelled.

"Really now? What did he say to mock you?" Wendy said.

"I'm not gay, slut!!"

"Never said you were." Wendy's eyes crossed. "So what did he do?"

"Um, wait.." Cartman took a second to lay his head down.

"What just happened. Was that real?" Cartman started to regain consciousness. "Oh... fuck," Cartman stated horrified now starting at the people who looked at him.

"Guess he was high," Token continued to eat his lunch now. 

Kyle clicked his computer on. Sighing and clicking around on youtube. But still couldn't get it off his mind. I mean who wouldn't. Right...? suddenly he found Kenny updated, and to his surprise and horror, it was a video of the event. Titled 'A NEW TWEEK AND CRAIG.'Oh wow Kenny. he rolled his eyes. He didn't need to look at that he said to himself but clicked the video anyways. As he re-watched it he felt the same tingle on his lips, his face turning light pink- Okay, enough of that shit time to watch some videos that had substance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mundane chapter to follow up a one that isn't

Cartman bit on some lickerish, staring at the wall. He was in detention for almost a week now giving him "time to think about what he did." 'Pussies, I didn't even show anything.' He angrily thought to himself. Looking at the clock, Cartman grumbled. Ugh, one hour and a half left. Ever since that incident, Kyle had made sure to stay away and not talk to Cartman. Dumb he thought, didn't he do worse things to Kyle? But he didn't have a lack of attention from Kyle. He looked at him quite a lot. It was a weird thrill to have everyone looking at him, it died down a bit though as the days passed. But that was not only what happened. Many people thought he was "super gay," and it hurt his throat everytime he had to yell at them saying that he wasn't. God, that damn jew he wished he didn't save him from hippie central. 

Suddenly he heard his classmates leave, as the teacher dismissed them. He had daydreamed once again, he seemed to do that a lot lately. Feeling the cold breeze from outside hit his face. He checked his phone, drifting his finger along the posts of his friends. Still no posts on Kyle's page. 

"Huh," he whispered aloud.

A few classes ago later that day, Kyle sat in front of Cartman feeling the shuttering feeling of being watched. He'd take the dumb responses of 'Kyle being gay because he didn't stop Cartman,' over the suspicion of Cartman looking at Kyle like a piece of meat behind him. It would not hard to believe that he was a homosexual though, multiple occasions that proved so. But for it to be the one person he hated, how could be? Actually, if he thought about it, maybe Cartman didn't "hate" Kyle but felt the opposite. Covering it up with a child-like manner like when a boy pulls a girl's hair.

Yikes, that's scary to think about. Kyle focusing on the board more.

Later that day Cartman stood in front of Kyle's door knocking. Mrs. Broflovski answering the door. 

"Hello, Mrs.Broflovski may I talk to my friend Kyle?" Cartman's sugar-coated voice expelled.


	5. Chapter 5

Kyle sat at his desk and worked on studying for the next test, almost bored to death. When he heard a faint knock at his door. 

"Come in," Kyle stared at wall giving his eyes a break.

"Khal, we need to talk..." Kyle froze. 

"W-what do you want?" Kyle in a fearful, slight monotone voice.

"Listen I'm not gay for you, that was the white stuff talking," Cartman sighed.

"In your pants?"

"NO! Jesus, Kyle the stuff in the cupcake I took!" 

"So your point? I mean how can I believe you didn't do that to mess with me?"

"Kyle- I- I- never felt more humiliated in life before..." Cartman started to tear up, sniffles could be heard. "I mean if anything this is YOUR fault!!"

"My fault?" Kyle's eyebrow went up."I KNOW you're making this up Cartman! I can even tell you how many types of stunts you pulled just to mess with me, or prove me wrong!"

"WELL IF YOU'RE SO SURE THEN TAKE THE DAMN STUFF!" Cartman harshly yelled.

"Boys? Are you ok up there?" Mrs.Broflovski said from the kitchen.

"Yeah, mom!" Kyle replied turning to Cartman with a glare. "I'm not doing that, I'm not a moron."

"You know what!!" Cartman tackled Kyle to the floor. Taking out the Sucrosegelen, then proceeded to quickly stuff it in his mouth."Your gonna take it, little bitch!" Glee running through him.

Kyle pushed him off violently while having a coughing fit.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Cartman! What was that!" Kyle was now feeling a bit scared about what Cartman put in his mouth.

"Well I didn't name it yet but... you know what it is." Cartman evilly smirked.

Kyle's eyes went wide for a second only to be replaced with a look of anger.


	6. Chapter 6

After many punches to the face for Cartman, Kyle was now completely high, comparable to Mount Everest. Falling on to Cartman taking deep breaths. Chuckles could be heard from Kyle as he stared into Cartman's eyes. Cartman lightly pushing him off, dragging him into Kyle's room. 

"Okay," Cartman said as he took out his video camera, "say cheese!"

"Just kidding this is on video." He smiled, Kyle smiling back.

"So, I'm going to ask some questions," Cartman now took out a paper filled with words. You see Cartman already knew the effects of Sucrosegelen testing it out on Butters and on himself a couple of times. It was almost like alcohol, it would take the fear out of someone causing them to do crazy stunts. It also made you extremely happy, colors appear brighter. It made Butters cry and scream with happiness once. So the fear to say something was gone. No lying was needed unless they wanted to joke around. He had prepared to have Kyle to take the drug with hope to get some secrets out of him. Everything was going according to plan.

"Would you like to fuck Stan?" Cartman asked.

"No, he's my super duper best friend though."

"Huh, okay. What is something that people think you would never do but you have?" 

"Uhhhh... I don't know."

"Would you rather fuck Kenny or Stan?"

"Ah, why would I?"

"Well if you were forced to."

"Um... I don't know."

"You have to answer."

"Stan, I like dark hair." Cartman wore a Cheshire cat smile.

"Ok, next on...what's the grossest thing that has come out of your body?"

"Pimple juice."

"Juice?"

"Yeah that white stuff?"

"Haha ok... are you gay?"

"Yes." Cartman was taken aback by the answer staring at Kyle.

"Seriously?" 

"Yeah I think, I don't really know... oh! I really want to listen to some music ya know jam out??"

"Yeah, but let me ask you one final question, which guy do you have a crush on?" Cartman said with a very satisfied look.

"That's a topnotch secret, fatass." Kyle giggled out. 

"Aw, come on I won't tell anyone!" Cartman patted his back.

"You promise?"

"Of course!" Kyle then started to lean into his ear. Spreading his fingers in Cartman's hair.

"You," Kyle said sweety smirking with delight.


	7. Chapter 7

"Uh..." Cartman stopped the recording. "What?" 

Cartman stepped away still processing those words. Kyle's creepy like smile widening, eyes staring directly into his. Cartman increasingly started to get more uncomfortable, shifting and adjusting his position. Kyle walking towards him, as Cartman hit a wall, Face unreadable.

"You-" Kyle pointed at his face. "Fell for it!! hahaha."

Cartman's face of worry turned into confusion. Kyle holding his stomach in laughter.

"I- what? What did I fall for?" Cartman questioned, face turning into realization. "AY! That's not kewl!!!"

"What did you want me to??" Kyle said in between laughs.

"Wa- no! I'm not gay like you Khal!"

"Well, that's not what you said when you wanted me to keep talking last week! hahaha" Kyle snorted and fell over overwhelmed by laughter. 

It was a couple of hours when it wore off, Kyle spent his time singing to classical music, somehow. Cartman sitting in the corner still in shock about what just happened. The predatory gleam in his eyes, the way his shoulders turned broad leaning towards him.   
It felt... right.   
He heard the voice of cupid me echoing, he didn't know what he was saying but he heard him yell out. 

Kyle stood straight his singing abruptly halted. His eyes traveling to the corner where Cartman sat. A memory playing back, the secret.

'Oh god' He whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if i got the milligrams part right- butttt ehhhh
> 
>  
> 
> I got 8 ch's done good god I've not even startedddd

They both stared at each other not saying a word for what seemed like hours until Kyle spoke up. A twisted idea forming in his head.

"You know we can make a lot of money out of this," eyes traveling down in shame. 

"Really?" Cartman's eyes widening in interest. 

"Yeah, just sell it in secret for a while till it becomes legal." Kyle thought. 'Maybe if we do this we might have a normal friendship. He wouldn't have to think so much about him. God that would help.'

"Wow, you're totally right!!!" Cartman's face beaming with excitement. "But why, you of all people, are suggesting this?"

"Um..." Kyle tried to think. "My family needs the money we've been stuck for a while."

Cartman's smile expanded. "Great."

It was troubling how many nights spent planning went into selling Sucrosegelen. Video calling in secret, talking for hours on end about mapping out the cost of it, the places to sell. Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse seemed to be the place to trade. Tweek himself a little suspicious of Cartman and Kyle being the team they were. It also seemed to make Kyle's Cartman problem better, their friendship seemed more normal then it was, but they were a lot closer than before. Kyle and Cartman practically spending all their free time on this project. Which was weird for Kyle. 

There they were, the rain fell down, they were going to sell to their first customer, who heavily implied they wanted a quick fix. Which was Kenny, he seemed excited to try it out too.

"Got the goods?" Kenny joked.

"Yeah, got the five bucks?" Cartman said in an unamused tone.

"Uh-huh, here." They exchanged.

"So how much of it do I need to get knocked out?"

"About 65 milligrams of it. Add 10 milligrams if doesn't work." Kyle said.

"Ok, you two have fun!" Kenny winked as he closed the door.

"Ugh, I hate Keenie sometimes," Cartman stated.

"So to Tweek's next?" 

"Yeah."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guysss I got busy but I didn't forget!

It had only been weeks from their first sale and they somehow sold over five hundred ziplock bags of the thing. More and more people each day asking for more, even most of the police officers begging for more. It was apparent from any newcomer at the school that something was wrong. Teachers high when in work, students leaving school to get their fill. Heck even Pc Principle getting in on it too. Face shriveled with disgust as Butters walked to his class, walking slowly to glance at the many high students. Eyes rolled back many giggling. 

"Take your seat class!" The teacher chirped in happiness.

"Ugh even the teacher has it too," Stan rolled his eyes turning to peer at Kenny. "Right?"

"Hahaha sure," Kenny smirked and fell off his seat.

"Ugh! Kenny you too?" Kyle talked to now sleeping Kenny, starting to pretend he wasn't part of the drug dealing. Cartman catching on, pretending too.

"Yeah, we don't need any more homeless druggies roaming around." Cartman sneered. 

Kyle sighed in disappointment, eye-rolling so hard that it was painful. The teacher laughing in-between words of the lesson, as Stan went to glance at his best friend. He'd been very anti-social for a while now, dark bagged eyes staring right back at him.

"Stan, is something wrong?" Kyle questioned.

"I- yeah-no." Stan's mind raced.

Kyle nodded turning back to his seat. Stan's train of thought started. Something went wrong that day when Cartman was high, Kyle's demeanor changed, he seemed calmer. He knew something, Stan saw it in his face, the enraged pair of eyes he threw at Cartman no longer existed only one of confidence. Whatever it was... it was not normal... it was even creeping the hell out of Stan, trying his best not to involve himself in the mess but just observe.


End file.
